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shoulds
If you find some research please post it on this site. I haven't been able to find any. There is close to no research of any kind on live foods that I know of.
Being around people with all sorts of varied radical diets (macro, vegan, liquids, atkins, bible diets etc.) including raw foods of course, I have found that one of the biggest problems that causes the most social upheavel is the "shoulding on others" that people who have adopted a diet do on other people. When I say, oh, I'm just eating uncooked foods at the present and break out my little bag of goodies with no energy about whatever anyone else people are eating, people often have become interested and curious and could care less. When I have done it with any energy whatsoever that I was better than the other person for doing it - it just feels bad. When people have "should"ed all over me about their religion, their diet, their politics or anything else I get defensive - why wouldn't they?
I was at the raw food counter and met another raw foodist who was doing it about a year. I don't even know if he was 100% raw. I said that recently it has been hard to keep up with it because of my contractor difficulties and not having a kitchen for so very long. He went into very serious shoulding. What's the big deal about soaking some nuts? Why don't you just drink smoothies and that's it? What's so hard? He had no concept of what I was communicating. Instead of helping me I felt like someone just laid a big dump on me and I wanted to never talk to another live foodist at that bar again.
I find that live foods can become like a cult, or a religion. This new "live foods lifestyle" label scares me. That's real new. It used to be - hey eating this way is better for me for this, this and this reason. Want to try it with me? Now it seems to incorporate all sorts of beliefs and judgments.
None of my family eats raw unless I offer it to them. No one else I know eats all raw foods. Even the people that work at the raw food institute here don't eat raw. The people at the live food bar in Whole Foods don't eat raw and the people at the little live food juice bar dont' eat raw. I have had trouble lately keeping it up because of my circumstances - but I eat about 95 - 98% even when I'm not all raw. The one person I met that actually did eat all raw (I would assume he was 100% from his arrogance)shoulded all over me. It's not easy to do or to keep up eating all live for years and decades and shoulding on others really sucks on both ends of the equation. He lost out on knowing another person that eats like he does and so did I because of shoulds. I liked it much better in the old days when no one knew what raw was about because there were no stereotypes. I was just eating this way because it made me feel good. I liked it better when raw foods wasn't like a religion or had to do with any "lifestyle". It's just the way I choose to eat because I feel better. The fact that I eat raw foods doesn't mean anything else except I happen to eat that way. I really hope this doesn't become like being Kosher (a diet wound up in an elaborate belief system).
I have found that my raw food eating gets in the way now more because when I tell people that I'm raw they know what it is and think that they ought to be better about their diiets and they know how much discipline it takes. Most Americans are fat and they see that I am older and thin and many times they are upset when they find out my age. This makes them feel bad about themselves, not from anything I have said or done except tell them oh, I eat raw foods and I'm old and don't act it or look it. I have had people tell me that they can't be friends with me because when I say lightly what I'm doing it makes them think that they ought to do it for themselves and can't.
I'm at the point now that I plan on not telling anyone that I am into raw foods any more. It used to bring up conversation and interest - now it often scares people away - especially if they know about raw foods or wish they could do it for themselves. I will say simply that I am on a special diet for health reasons and need to bring my own food. That will take out all the shoulds that I may impose or that people may impose on themselves in my prescence.
People that love me and know me are happy for me and are just fine. It's about meeting new people. From now on new people won't ever hear the words live foods or raw foods from me unless they directly ask me with a true desire to understand. The world of live foods has changed too much and has too many associations wrapped up with it.
Greenbunny
Last edited by greenbunny : 08-24-2007 at 06:24 PM.
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