Snowbunny, you have come to the right place for this conversation. I'll talk your ear off on this subject because it is very near and important to me. As a matter of fact, I think that I will copy this converstation to the main board so others know there is some meaty chat going on here in the introduction section.
When I read your message the first thing that I thought of was an interview I once saw on the Dick Cavet show (very old show, don't even know if I spelled his name rigth). Well, Katherine Hepburn was his guest. She was an actress from back in the days when women were treated not much better than dirt when it came to equality and respect. Dick asked Katherine if in all her years at the studios if anyone ever approached her sexually, if anyone was inappropriate with her. This was a at a time when it was inconceivable that any woman wouldn't be approached that way as an actress and this actress was carrying on an affair with a married man - the perfect target. She looked at him like he had said the strangest thing and said in her fabulous Katherine Hepburn voice, simply and emphatically, No! and gave him such a look of dismissal that it still gives me goosebumps. It was like she was saying who would have even dared? Why would you ask such a question? I realized that she had such inner power, such strength, so much self-esteem and demanded such respect that no one would ever do such a thing with that woman. She exuded a prescence, a force, an energetic statement with her body, with her mind, with her words with her energy that said, watch it buster, don't try to pull anything with this woman! I ??m too good for that and you know I won ??t stand for it. She never had to say no, or don ??t do that. Who she was said it for her.
Then I started to think about Joan of Arc. Here was a very young country woman that lived in the dark ages. Talk about inequality! Women for the most part weren ??t even thought of as human. Absolutely no rights. Women were basically owned by the men and lived by very strict rules. Then here comes this woman that has enough strength, will, faith, conviction and prescence that she was able to wear men ??s clothing, lead armies and change the course of history. The men simply stopped swearing around her. They stopped drinking and spending time with prostitutes. Being around her demanded that they change. The force of her spirit was enough to break every conceivable stereotype of a woman and made everyone who came into contact with her feel an inner need to act differently. She was truly awe-some. This young woman made people stop in their tracks and go in new directions by the force of her conviction.
Another great example that is more accessible is the Dog Whisperer. Have you ever watched that show? It ??s a great show. This man Cesar Milan shows people how to move, think, intend and act as leaders and the dogs just get it and they instantly start to do whatever the owner wants. It ??s amazing. He shows them how to hold themselves and how to project confidence by example. He ??s loving and kind and to watch him is a gift. Within minutes the dogs are doing what he is thinking at them to do. He knows how to become the pack leader and so the dogs simply no longer disrespect him like they do their owners. He doesn ??t have to train the dogs. He trains the humans to demand the dog ??s respect. He doesn ??t use words. He uses his body and his mind to perform what look like miracles with the dogs and the humans.
If you train your mind and will and make them strong enough people won ??t be able to help acting towards you the way you expect and want them to. I ??m still often not at that level of accomplishment so on the way to that point where people just feel it I have to use the force of my intellect, mind and words. This helps me to get more solid. The mind forms the words, brings them into the world and changes others which then empowers the individual to further demand respect.
Many people have had the experience that when they eat raw they become more sensitive to other people ??s thoughts. I have always seemed be that way. I can feel/hear what people are thinking sometimes. If I see someone starting to put me in a box I can feel my will fighting them. I can feel my subconscious adjusting and diverting. I move, or speak or just give them a look with my eyes. What they feel coming from me often is enough to stop them in their tracks. Sometimes I just get up and walk away or I ??ll say something that will make them think of me in a different way. I will move them from body to though or to Spirit. I will distract them from what they started. I will connect with them subconsciously and communicate ?? don ??t do that or just get them to higher ground where I want to be.
If you are most of the way in the energetic demand for respect sometimes it will take just a hint. In your example of someone calling you too skinny, if the person is a reasonably smart and aware person, you might need to say something simple. For instance, ??Thank you so much for your concern about my health, but I feel very strong and healthy and love my body just the way it is. ?? If they continue, then it might escalate to, ??since I know that I am healthy you must be commenting on the appearance of my body and judging it. ?? Then I would pick some quality of the person that might be sensitive to them and use it saying, ??I wonder if you would be so bold as to comment on my appearance if you thought ?? ??. my hair too gray, or that my nose was too big, or my ears were funny, if I didn ??t have nice skin, if I had wrinkles or if I were fat etc. etc.? ?? It will be just enough to show them that they are being hurtful by forcing them to see the situation from the perspective of how they would feel in a similar circumstance. I ??ll give you an example. I stopped by a sweater vendor (who happened to be black) on the street in Manhattan. I bought a sweater and he said, ??Thank you sweetheart. ?? I said please don ??t call me sweatheart, only my husband is allowed to call me that, I don ??t even know you ??. He said something like, ??oh, I was just trying to be nice. ?? I explained to him that calling a woman sweatheart or dear was demeaning. It would be like me calling him ??boy ??. He got it instantly and apologized sincerely. I left him with the most thoughtful look one could imagine on the face of a street vendor. Now let ??s take it one step further. Still the person insists that being skinny isn ??t healthy or what how you choose to eat was wrong somehow and no matter how much diversion or energy or looks or what you have said, they still insist on harrassing you ??.. At that point I would then put all niceties away and say something like, ??You really should try eating raw for awhile, it might help you with the problems you are having with your brain function. ?? If they still don ??t get it keep on going ??. ??what you are saying is inappropriate and I will not stand for you saying such things to me any more. If you care to have me continue talking to you, please refrain from commenting on my physical body. ?? If they continue, turn your back and walk away. If it is at the work place you can tell them that you consider comments about your body to be harrassment and it must stop immediately. If it doesn ??t stop, report them and/or get a lawyer.
We as women need to stand up for ourselves. We allow the disrespect. We disrespect ourselves. If you feel healthy, happy and good about what you eat, your weight and your appearance why accept any one else ??s evaluation of you, especially people that haven ??t won your respect? Fend them off energetically, with your spirit, with your words, with body movements and with the help of others if you need it. If you want to eat nuts and avocados (as long as the nuts are soaked the fat in raw foods is actually very good for you and easily used by the body) why not eat them? And if you don ??t want to eat them and they don ??t agree with you or make you feel good ?? give me one logical reason why you would eat them. Eating fried chicken would be to me like shooting yourself in the foot because a family member told you to. Eating something bad for you because others want you to is no different than doing hard drugs because your friends are doing it. Only the mavericks go down in history. Katherine and Joan are great role models, especially within the sphere of our own inner fights as women. Katherine and Joan didn ??t have to fight off others because they didn ??t have to fight with themselves.
No matter what you weigh in this culture it just will never be good enough. There is no weight where everyone says you are just right. No matter what you weigh there will be folks that think it ??s too much or too little. That is a fact. Even if there were such a thing as the perfect weight, what does it say about you if you pick being even a perfect weight over feeling healthy? What message does that give to your body and your inner self? Is how you look more important than anything else, even your health? There is no one in this world that could convince me to eat fried chicken so they, on an inner level, know not to even try. There is no door open to them. If you close the door for others to fight you, they just won ??t, because they can ??t. If there is no room for them to convince you, they will have a tendency not to even try. The things you are truly solid on usually won ??t be questioned. The trick is getting yourself to that place of solidity. Sometimes fighting for something will make you more certain in your conviction.
This has become a ridiculously long post, but it was a ripe question and the fruit just fell almost of its own accord. Hope I was able to answer your question. It wasn't an easy one.
Greenbunny
(10)
