awkward social scenarios - Raw Food Chat

00rawr00 · 05-15-2006

allright before i ask my question i have a quick rant: i went out to dinner with friends last night and was utterly dismayed by the menu which had not one salad, vegetable dish or anything that hadn't been fried in beef grease. further frustration came when i politely requested that they throw any of the raw vegetables in the kitchen on a plate but the waiter snapped back that there were no raw veggies in the kitchen, nor fruit, nuts, seeds NOTHING!!
but to my question (pretty much unrelated to the rant although they happened at the same time):
whilst i panicked about what i would eat for dinner my friends were extremely unsupportive and complained with the waiter about my pickiness in front of me and then of course i faced the usual 'you're goign to die from protein deficiency', 'you're obviously not getting the nutrients you need', etc. As opposed to going into a full-fledged debate, does anyone have particular experience in avoiding such scenarios, or advice if one does happen?

The Vej · 05-15-2006

If I were with some of my true friends they wouldn't make fun of me like that. If I'm with a bunch of people that I don't like anyway I don't say anything at all I just use my middle finger until they stop taunting me. Then I tell them about some big words that relate to my diet and tell them everything I know in a manner that makes them feel really stupid. Then they start to ignore me and I am happy again. I can't believe that the waiter complained about your diet. I would of liked to piss him off and ask for the manager because he was being an asshole. If I'm with family I just ask politely like you did and then if there is nothing in your case I sit there and stare at my plate and I don't take any shit from them. I either stare at my empty plate or explain to them for the millionth time how I eat. Also I could act like I do have food and just keep talking and laughing and having a good time just ignoring people when they say something stupid, ignorant or negative. There are many ways to go about it, some piss people off a little more than others but you got to get back at them some of time and have a little fun doing it.

00rawr00 · 05-16-2006

hahah thanks, yah i try to explain to them rationally the logic behind my diet but i just get so frustrated, turn red, and then stop being able to speak coherently (this only leads to them thinking i have no idea what im talking about). i probably wont try the middle finger approach but ill try your suggestions!

Honey · 05-22-2006

Hey... I can totally relate re: waiter. I had a similar experience, you can read about it here under "Raw Ordeal": http://blog.myspace.com/simplyzen_rawgurl

I agree with The Vej about true friends. I'm rarely with a bunch of people I don't like... most of my friends are VERY supportive and try to find restaurants that can accomodate my lifestyle.

To avoid such scenarios with friends/family, a sense of humour goes a long way, and I just try to avoid eating with people that may give me hard time. Less hassles.

00rawr00 · 05-22-2006

thanks honey!! your blog was really funny, and its good to know that it doesn't just happen to me.

rawallison · 06-08-2006

I had to smile at your rant. I'm sure all raw foodists with non-raw loved ones face the "you're not gonna get enough protein" etc. etc. thing. You know what? It's nice to know people care, even though it can be annoying. In my case, I have suffered hair loss from eating raw, so the fears people have of nutritional deficiencies are not unfounded. Not everyone experiences raw the same way. I haven't given up on raw, but I'm definitely augmenting the protein side of things (and iron and B vitamins).

As for your restaurant experience, I totally empathize. I have to be particular about where I go, and end up eating salads most of the time (except for a recent raw fish experience!!). Who'd a thunk eating raw in a restaurant, of all places, would be so difficult?

-Allison

greenbunny · 07-29-2006

The way I handle restaurants is that I always eat BEFORE I go! Can you imagine? But it works. Then if I find anything at all it's like a big treat. Or I bring a piece of fruit with me. Then if they say, "We have nothing", then I say, "Well then you won't mind if I eat my own food, do you have a PLATE and KNIFE in the kitchen?????

One thing that works with waiters and restaurants is telling them (if you aren't with obnoxious, loathsome people that you should never spend another minute with) that your doctor put you on a strict diet for health reasons and that you are very sorry to be so much trouble. This usually will bring out their more compassionate sides instead of "oh what a picky person I think I'll make everything more difficult for them" side.

If I'm planning to go out with friends I will call the restaurant first. Good friends won't mind changing restaurants if you need it.

Tell those so-called friends that your retribution will be that when you are 100 years old and spritely that you will make fun of their great great grandchildren and won't visit their graves.

passionforliving · 08-11-2006

I have always considered fasting on water a noble option in these circumstances. And yes, you should laugh, smile, converse and enjoy your friends. That's the real point of getting together, not the food.

greenbunny · 08-12-2006

You are nobler than I Passion. Fasting while others are scoffing down food. I've done it. While fasting for a month I went out to eat with my husband all the time and was HUNGRY the entire month! No more nobility for me. I bring my own food. I'm really into eating. Watching others and abstaining sounds like a great option - but only for me if I'm not hungry and I won't get peevish not being part of the fun - which is rare. I think I'm getting more immature with the years. My hierarchy 1) always eat first 2) get something live at restaurant 3) eat my own food that I brought 4) if I couldn't bring anything then eat the least toxic thing on the menu and still have fun - which is very nourishing.

It's a bit sad that I can't have fun on just water - but that's just where I am now. I can have fun on fruit though. I just want to be part of the atmosphere of enjoying deliciousness..... and fruit is usually more delicious than what's on the menu. This is what I'll be doing tomorrow night when we take our new neighbors out for dinner for watching our house for us. I'll let you know how it goes this time around.

greenbunny