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The way I handle restaurants is that I always eat BEFORE I go! Can you imagine? But it works. Then if I find anything at all it's like a big treat. Or I bring a piece of fruit with me. Then if they say, "We have nothing", then I say, "Well then you won't mind if I eat my own food, do you have a PLATE and KNIFE in the kitchen?????
One thing that works with waiters and restaurants is telling them (if you aren't with obnoxious, loathsome people that you should never spend another minute with) that your doctor put you on a strict diet for health reasons and that you are very sorry to be so much trouble. This usually will bring out their more compassionate sides instead of "oh what a picky person I think I'll make everything more difficult for them" side.
If I'm planning to go out with friends I will call the restaurant first. Good friends won't mind changing restaurants if you need it.
Tell those so-called friends that your retribution will be that when you are 100 years old and spritely that you will make fun of their great great grandchildren and won't visit their graves.
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